At one level most of us still depend on our environment to sanction our happiness; we depend on our loved ones to love us to make us feel loved . Let's unravel this game a little deeper.
A huge truth about human behaviour revolves around communication. The truth simply states that the meaning of the communication is the result that it gets. Most of us in life, especially when we are dependant on an environmental interaction are completely focused only on what we are saying and since we are dependant on the environment, if we disconnect from the result that the environment gives us we invite pain.
For example, this communication is happening in English and for this communication to be effective; all of you must understand English. But if all of you have no clue of this language, and then the meaning of my communication is entirely redundant, useless, and stupid, which is what is seen with many trainers in several workshops. We are all constantly showing the world what we know, which is fine provided we are operating out of self love, which we are not. so since we are looking for an approval from people, the only way you will get that approval is when you speak what they want to hear. So if you speak what the people want to hear, it is but natural that you will get exactly the result you wanted to get in the first place.
Making sense? Think about it? You want leave from work. Ok, so you go ahead and tell the boss, I need leave tomorrow. Boss is already thinking, Oh gosh, if this guy takes leave tomorrow, there is a deadline to be achieved for a certain project report which he was to submit and thanks to you taking leave perhaps he will not be able to make that submission,... chances of you being granted that leave are very poor. But the moment you tell the boss, I have made arrangements for the submission, don't worry, nothing for you will get stuck, the report will be delivered to you by so and so person,in that case can I take leave tomorrow? Rest assured my friends, the leave is guaranteed. You will get the result that you require.
This is true at every single juncture of life. So when you appreciate other people naturally in turn they land up appreciating you. You get exactly what you want. When you help other people succeed in life rest assured your own success is guaranteed. A lot of times in life when it comes to this communication, the reason we disconnect from the environment is because we get emotionally involved in what we are saying and the moment we get emotionally involved in what we are saying, we seek justification for the communication the way we are projecting it. And of course, since it does not bring the desired result, it keeps the flag of conflict continuing into perpetuity.
So just pause for a moment and put yourself into the shoes of the other person, and understand what is it that the other person wants to hear. If you figure that out and speak exactly that language, then whatever you want from that person gets delivered to you effortlessly. Sometimes following this requires you to challenge your own perception and belief. So if you have a boss who likes to be praised, if you have a boss who likes to control people, give him the control, praise the boss, no problems, give him exactly what he needs. If you deliver to him exactly what he needs whatever you want from him gets delivered to you effortlessly.
This is so true when it comes to dealing with our own children. Most of the time when it comes to our children we are constantly telling them what to do, all the time and we expect our children to listen to us round the clock. Have we ever paused to think how much do we listen to what the child wants to tell us? Without getting irritated, without pushing, what is the child is trying to tell us? Can we process this without our own filter of perception? Many parents say, of course we talk to the child all the time, we always want to know what is happening in the child's life. Sure, what they want to know is what happened at school, what is the homework that has to be done. that's the last thing the child wants to talk to the parents! The child probably may want to tell how he went on to the road and played cricket and scored a brilliant 50 runs !!! The child probably wants to tell you about what happened with his friend in school and how he managed to get two marbles extra in a game he was playing. Are we willing to listen to that? No, we are not and then we expect our children to listen to us all the time. So, if only you could take out ten or fifteen minutes in the day when you are just listening to what your child wants to tell you and listening carefully without interruptions making the child feel extremely important as if at that moment the only thing that exists for you is your child. Believe me my friends for the rest of the time in the day the child will listen to you completely.
Think about this. Do unto others what you want others to do to you !!If you want results, help people, achieve and get the results that they are looking for. The moment you crack that, it is another missing piece in your jigsaw puzzle. You can't find your own piece, no problem, just help arrange the other pieces that are obviously falling into place. That is easy because universe is talking to you the environment is talking to you it is telling you exactly what it wants from you. Help that fall into place, you get your result automatically & naturally as a corollary. Always remember this, you want the results? Give other people the result they want first. This challenges your belief, your perception, do it, you will get your result.
This of course since we are taking the entire module from the perception of the external environment talking to us for us to figure out what we want to do. Going back two videos, if you are already on the path of self-love, then you can just chill and watch the video without trying to apply any part of it. The choice is completely yours, but for those of us who are still looking at the environment as a feedback mechanism for self acceptance these are a few simple rules which will help your life become better, simpler, much more effective in turn polishing you for your Oscar of life.
Enjoy and have fun.
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